Posts tagged chinese

This past Thursday I went to Karaoke Night at a small and somewhat dumpy bar/restaurant in Fairlawn, N.J. Despite groans from my boyfriend when he became aware that we were going to listen to drunkards sing along to Ke$ha at 11 p.m., we made plans to meet the standard group of friends we usually go out with. Little did we know that we would be the most vivacious people in attendance, besides a 60-something-year-old man that liked to bump and grind to Lady Gaga and Rockabilly revival.

To some, the principles and overall methodology of karaoke is sacred. There are several titles covering important concepts and rules, including an in-depth analysis of the entertainment within Chinese culture, written by William Paterson University professor of Communication Theory, Dr. Casey Lum (whom was also my professor). However to others karaoke nights are just excuses for them to go to empty dive bars, consume the cheapest vodka possible, and make fools of themselves by rocking out to the greatest hits while their friends laugh at (not with) them. The latter characterization was me — minus the whole rocking out thing.

As I explained to my friend Nick of the Escape Directors, I get extreme performance anxiety. No matter how small the audience, my throat dries and closes up, my voice quivers and I forget the lyrics. Simply not an ideal situation for all parties involved. But at the same time I found myself peering over my friends’ shoulders, looking at the blessed “song binder” to see which songs I would perform as my karaoke debut. But alas, the bible never fell in my lap and I couldn’t muster up the courage to step up to the mic. So now’s the time for me to lay out what I would perform if I had (figurative) balls of steel and became a hard-core karaoke champ. Keep in mind, these were in no way analyzed — songs chosen are merely tracks I have found myself singing and dancing to in the privacy of my own home and car. Readers of this blog now I’m mainly a rock girl, but this entry will cover not only rock, but the top five pop and rap/R&B tracks. Is this thing on?

Rock
1. “The Stroke” Billy Squier: First thing that comes to mind is the epic “first day of high school” scene in Billy Madison. But the guitar lick is contagious and it’s just one of those tracks that can make even the most belligerently drunk folks head bang to the beat and sing “Stroke me, stroke me.” 

2. “Pour Some Sugar On Me” Def Leppard: Another unnecessarily yet amazingly dirty song. Although this song has kind of been done to death, from being synched in Coyote Ugly to On The Line starring the once-straight Lance Bass and Joey Fatone, it’s so freakin’ easy to see why. Come on, people! Listen to it! Can’t you just see some trashy chick chuggin’ $2 PBR’s grinding the mic stand to this while garbling the lyrics? Karaoke gold!

3. “Livin’ On A Prayer” Bon Jovi: Do I really need to get into this? Jersey chick aside, this song has such an epic build up. Not only can singers shout the chorus and finger point to the audience, they can (attempt to) seductively croon the verse. Beautiful.

4. “Fat Bottomed Girls” Queen: Everyone who even slightly knows of my existence knows my devotion to Queen. I’ve been wearing out their CDs and collecting vinyls and T-shirts since my pre-teen, disgustingly angsty years. The heartbeat-thumping drums interlace perfectly with the guitars. Throw in your best Freddie Mercury voice and a little bit of booty bouncing and you’ve got the perfect performance.

Honorable mentions:

“My Sharona” The Knack
“American Woman” by The Guess Who
“Paradise By the Dashboard Light” by Meatloaf
“Dude Looks Like A Lady” by Aerosmith
“You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC

Pop

1. “Whip It” Devo: Okay, okay, I know this isn’t necessarily a “pop” song, but its bass lick is too contagious and the lyrics too outrageous to be a flat-out rock song. Within the first five seconds, I can guarantee that 75 percent of any audience will start grooving in their seats (or out of them, if they’re feeling feisty). Crack that whip!

2. “Love Shack” B-52s: Another band that can easily fall within the dance/alternative sector, but hey, this is my blog. And to be honest, the B-52s in my eyes are the epitome of pop perfection. Dance beats, experimental and whacky lyrics, and outrageously colorful characters. Come on, how fun is it to impersonate Fred Schneider?

3. “Hit Me Baby (One More Time)” Britney Spears: More current, but still a classic.

4. “La La” Ashlee Simpson: Read the commentary on “Pour Some Sugar On Me” and it will apply to this contagious dance track. However, the likelihood of said drunk girl going on the prowl and sinking her claws into some poor, unaware male is far more likely.

5. “Toxic” Britney Spears: It may seem like I’m cheating by putting two Brit-Brit songs in one five-song countdown, but this chick is the ideal in terms of seductive yet innocent and fun pop music. Isn’t that what karaoke is all about?

6. “Bad Romance” Lady Gaga: This is the song to sing if you’re feeling saucy and are determined to show off. The bridge leads up to the most perfect “star moment” that I have heard in at least the last five years. This is by no means honorable mention. This is top notch stuff. Use with caution.

For the classic-lovers…
If you don’t wanna touch that modern stuff, here are the obvious top choices I would proudly get on stage and shriek along to.

“Like a Virgin” by Madonna
“Beat It” by Michael Jackson
“Little Red Corvette” by Prince
“Straight Up” by Paula Abdul

Hip-hop/Rap/R&B

1. “Push It” Salt-N-Pepa: We all know the notoriety of this song. Not only is it a fantastic dance track, it will show your sex appeal and your rap skills. If you don’t believe me, check out this scene from Grandma’s Boy. Who wouldn’t want a piece of that?

2. “Baby Got Back” Sir Mix-A-Lot: Seriously, who doesn’t like this song? Seriously.

3. “Notorious” Notorious B-I-G: Only skilled emcees need apply. I don’t care how drunk you are, this isn’t for the faint at heart.

4. “99 Problems” Jay-Z: See above explanation.

5. “Woo-Ha” Busta Rhymes: Okay, this song is merely wishful thinking. Honestly, my goal for 2011 is to be able to perfectly perform this track. At least now I have something to work towards!

These “lists” may be vague. However, these were the songs that stuck out most for me in terms of most contagious, danceable, fun and just overall awesome. I don’t want to hear any schmucks singing Journey’s “Open Arms” while crying into their glass of house merlot. If you’re gonna cry, don’t cry on the stage. I’ll be busy rockin’ out to Def Lep. Bartender, another vodka soda please!

Happy singing, folks!